Monday, July 12, 2010

One more question on DADT

One question that could be added to the DADT is how many straight male service personnel have ever in their lives or would ever hang out socially on a regular basis with gay acting males. Likely answer: pretty much zero.

First, no homophobe talking here. The first place I moved to as an adult was the Chelsea neighborhood in Manhattan in the '60s, had a gay boy half my age living with me for a year in the late '70s, drove a San Francisco cab for three years (earned a good part of my living "hustling" in the Castro, picking up gay men and taking them home for a fee; also gay women, or anyone else who would pay the fare :-]).

Second, no homophobe here. Was approved for training to get a Ph.D. in psychology in the early '70s (still high school grad) -- so having a gay boy living with me for a year could teach me what homosexuality is all about mechanically: gays of both sexes merely see what straights see as the big MALE ego as the big FEMALE ego and are permanently blind to seeing any such thing in males. Has to be some big difference, right? But that's all there is.

Now for straight male camaraderie -- mechanically. We link up with other males on a basis gays males would consider very narrow and one-dimensional: activities we share a common interest in. That is all there is to that. If we know the biggest thing on the other guy's mind (the biggest thing on every guy's mind) is the last activity we want to do with another guy that tends strongly (understatement?) to break said link as about as much as it can be broken.

Sociobiology: nothing anyone can do about it. Doesn't have to work in every case -- or even most cases; everyone is different. But it will work that way for at least half of servicemen (how many will hang out with, etc.?). I would conjecture that it might have the most effect on straight males who are most into doing the job at hand.
Gays may not understand why we fear gay males as dangerous, grasping and invading -- because gays don't see men that way (!); they see said dangerous, over weaning ego in females. (Lesbos are doing their best to radiate that image.)

Think straight male aversion to paling around with gay males (see one-dimensional camaraderie above) is rationally overcome with just some common sense and good will? How much would you be willing to depend on that -- in a very liberal, upper end grammar school (especially if you watch "Law & Order" :-]) -- to advise your gay 12 year old to come out of the closet? Or how much would you fear how naturally endemic the problem is?

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